Week 2

So instead of an update of what I’ve been doing this week im going to do an update of what ive been learning while ive been here/what I am striving to change or better about myself. There are three major things that I am noticing a change in and a desire to have a change in that I am going to explain! The first thing I am noticing that is changing is my perspective of the Christian community as a whole and what being a part of that truly means. Growing up going to a Christian school and church, I thought I got an adequate view of what a Christian should be, but what I am learning is that I was around a lot of luke warm serface level christians who knew God but didnt chose to live like they knew God. I was one of those people, but I have a desire to be more; I knew there had to be more to it. Meeting the strangers I currently live with, I am seeing that there truly is more to choosing to live like God. When you take the fruits of the spirit and truly attempt to put them in your life, you end up with a servant heart. You think of others first, you love well when conflict arises, you take accountability, you acknowledge your flaws, and you lean on others who have them as their strengths, you communicate lovingly, you make time for God daily, you consistently pursue the characteristics of God, and so much more. Being a part of the community here is teaching me my skills, my flaws, and what a Christian community that supports each other looks like, and finding ways to implement/ create that in my life at home. There is a lot more to that topic, but I will move on to the next one, so this blog doesn’t become too long. The next thing I am seeing that is changing spiritually is that the Lord talks to people audibly. I always thought that was fake or only in movies, but being here and witnessing how different people communicate with the Lord, I am seeing that there are so many ways I haven’t looked for guidance and answers from God that are like you are talking to a normal human. I truly believe that some people can hear the voice of God, and how wonderful would that be, so why not ask? I believe God gives some people visions through dreams and ideas, and again, how wonderful would that be, so why not ask? God talks to people through the scripture and journaling, and how wonderful would that be? Why not ask? I didnt believe that “normal” people could connect with God like that but i am learning that one there is no “normal” person and two our God is truly capable of everything and he loves us enough to want to talk to and guide us so please if you read this ask God to talk to you, do a little ATL (ask the lord) and find out what the best way to communicate with God is for you because the worst thing that could happen is that we are not listening for Gods voice and miss him. There are many more spiritual things I have learned and am trying to learn, but again, I am going to move to the next thing! The last thing I wanted to talk about is the characteristics I am striving to be more like. Eventhought ive only been here for two weeks, I have already created goals and ambitions for myself for my future and my betterment. Mostly being of who I am and a couple being what I want to do, I have focused on characteristics of God that I am drawn to, and I have journaled and prayed that God would help craft me into a woman of his own heart. My values as a young woman in the 21st centery espcially a “Gen Z”, are different than of those around me in my culture. Even here I am one of the only girls who doesn’t have goals to pursue owning my own business, or becoming a doctor, or female pastor, or joining the army, or leading mission teams, or any other feministic girl power desires lol. I’m not saying those things are bad or wrong im just saying it’s not for me. My desires aren’t to be extremely independent and only rely on myself. I want a community to rely on. I want to be a great friend. I want a family of my own to nurture and love. I want my relationship with God to be my center. And I want to be really successful in those things: follower, friend, mom, and wife. So I am praying and reading about characteristics that I think will help me succeed in these goals. I’m learning that the word that is sticking out the most to me from the bible is gentle. Which is something that i generually am not! I am opinionated, strong-minded, loud, argumentative, and I have a temper, but something about the personality of a gentle woman draws me in. It’s not that I want to hide these characteristics that I have or change completely, but I need to learn to control them and usde them for good and not to lash out or hurt others. i want to set goals of characterists i want to attain to change the current ways of anger and harshness I have now to use all of my characteristics for good. I am actually thinking about getting a tattoo on this topic of the type of wife/mother/woman I want to be. I know many people are not for tattoos, and I respect your opinion, but I’d also like to remind you it’s my choice, and it’s between me and God, not your opinion and me! The passage I would want is Proverbs 31:10-31, which describes an “excellent wife”. Everytime i read this passage, my heart yearns for these characteristics that are listed: hard working, provider, gentle,  strong, profitable, generous, fearless, royal, kind, respected, wise, blessed, and fears the lord. I am trying to find ways to make my heart less angry, for lack of a better word. I am learning that these are characteristics that I want to attain, so I am trying to create habits to correct things I do not like about myself. I know i will never achieve Gods desciption of a ¨perfect wife¨ becasue thats the whole point of him writing the passage to show i am a flawed human but setting this goal and sharing it with others to keep me accountable to persuing it is a way to glorify God and apply his words and truth to my life.

For prayer, please pray for health, safety, ability to connect with the kids, creating good habits to attain the characteristics I desire, college guidance, and peace, a deeper connection with community, homesickness to be peaceful in knowing how blessed I am, and God shows me all the things he wants me to see and be!

Side note, this week we begin our real schedule outside of training camp, which looks like this:

7:30 layla wakes up bc she doesn’t eat breakfast like all the other losers who get up at 6

8:00 student bible study led by students

9:00 life skills class led by our mentors

10:00-12:00 class time i do bible study for like 45 mins, then do class for like 15 mins, then I am trying to start reading for like 30 mins, but I hate reading lol, so yk

12:00-1:00 is lunch, which is sandwiches every day, and free time where we just hang out

2:00-5:00 is ministry, which for me is teaching an English class in the orphange i do reading, sports, and music classes with all ages 1-18!

5:00-6:00, we clean or are on a cook team that makes dinner

6:00-7:00 dinner

7:30-9:00ish team time where we bible study, do check-ins, feedback, and have fun nights

9:00- next day free time i got to bed by like 11:00

Saturdays are adventure days where we go do something fun. This week we went to Canon del sumidero which was sick, and we saw spider monkeys and crocodiles

Sundays are saboth where we have literally nothing planned, and you can do anything to reset for the week!

another cool pic!